An Interview in Lazytown
by ninjamonkeybutt
Summary: My OC, Reporter, interviews the kids and the two competent adults of Lazytown. T for language and suggestive wording.


Disclaimer: I don't own Lazytown. Nor do I own these questions. I found these questions in a list titled 'dunno' by Improkarpanen, on DeviantArt. There are 43 questions on the list. I fed them to a random generator and out came 9 questions for seven of our beloved characters on Lazytown.  
A/N: Rated T for Robbie's bad mouth. He swears a lot.

The reporter is wearing a closed brown trenchcoat and a darker matching fedora. She sets a recording device on the table and the seats on the opposite side begin to light up, one at a time. The first reveals a girl with hot pink hair and pretty much pink everything. She is sitting next to a blonde boy munching on a lollipop, and he is beside a dark-skinned boy with brightly colored hair and a set of headphones over it.

"So, Stephanie, are you all set?" Reporter asks.

"Absolutely!" She grins.

"And Ziggy and Pixel?"

"Sure!" The two agree.

Another light opens to show a pigtailed girl keeping herself busy with a yo-yo. To her side is a man dressed all in blue. He is fidgeting in his seat, fighting against every will to move. Next to him is an uppity boy hugging a piggy bank. Finally, to his side, is a scowling man dressed in red and purple. His arms are crossed and he obviously does not want to be here.

"Alright, and you? Trixie?"

"Course."

"Sportacus? Stingy? Robbie?"

"You bet!"

"I suppose so."

"If I have to be."

"Great! Question one is easy. When's your birthday?"

"In the winter time. It's actually really close to Valentine's Day. Which is great, since I love the color pink!"

Ziggy holds up his sweet. "Mine's in July."

"I was born in January." Pixel informs.

"Scorpio!" Trixie laughs. "That's in November."

Sportacus jumps up as if he were surfing on his chair. "June. It's a great time to go down to the beach and whatnot."

"I'd rather not." Robbie scoffs.

Reporter rolls her eyes and focuses back on Stingy. He yawns in a bored manner.

"August."

Robbie grumbles to himself. "What? It's December, satisfied?"

"Very." Reporter huffs. "Question two. What nicknames do you have?"

"That's easy. Uncle calls me Pumpkin, Trixie calls me Pinky and Robbie calls me Pixie."

"I don't really have any nicknames, unless you count Sticky. That's what Robbie calls me."

"Come to think of it, Robbie's the only one to give me a nickname as well. Poodle."

"Yeah! Robbie's called me Punky and Tricky."

"Well, Robbie's given me plenty of nicknames. I personally like Elf and Blue Kangaroo."

"Because you are one, Sportakook!" Robbie interrupts again.

"That one's actually growing on me too." He smiles.

"Shut up, Sportadolt!" Robbie groans.

"Stingy!" Reporter calls out, putting an end to the nonsense. "Any nicknames for you?"

"Only Stinky and Greedy." He harrumphs.

"And you?"

"Robbie Rotten." He crosses his arms.

"So, you don't have a nickname?"

"You idiot!" He huffs. "Robbie Rotten IS my nickname!"

"What do you mean?" Sportacus asks, curious.

"I wasn't born with it, Sportadoofus. I was stuck with it as a child and never corrected anyone."

"So what's your real name?" Reporter asks.

"What's yours?" He counterattacks.

"Moving on to question three."

"That's what I thought."

"What is the worst thing to have happened to you in Lazytown?"

"I guess when I wanted to go camping but all anyone wanted to do was join Lazy Scouts and I felt really left out."

"Ooh! When the taffy machine went out of control!"

"I remember when Robbie got inside my website and after everything was fixed I was feeling real guilty 'cause I realized he was probably only mad because I didn't include him on the site."

"Damn straight." Robbie grumbles down the other side.

"Sorry, Robbie."

"Sure you are."

"Trixie, what about you?"

"Uh, okay. When I convinced everyone to come to that castle and it started crumbling down. That was the worst day because it was all my fault."

"Either that day I had that incredible sugar meltdown or when Bessie's birthday cake was stolen. But the meltdown went away after a while and the kids did great. Everyone thought it was me who stole the cake, thinking that I was thinking that if I can't have cake, no one else can. Just because I can't eat the sugary things, I don't think you shouldn't give away the pleasure. So long as you don't eat it every day."

"I remember once when trash was taking over Lazytown and I could hardly move around because my car got stuck and I didn't want to dirty my clothes. That was a bad day."

"The worst thing? I don't know! How about failing at all my plans because I don't want to eat like a flipping elf! What about never getting any sleep because I'm an insomniac at night and a try to sleep during the day but I can't with all the chaos Sportaflop shoves these brats through! Every blasted day is ruined in this stupid town!"

Everyone is shocked by the outburst. Ziggy drops his sweet and Sportacus falls to the floor. Reporter stops writing but then clears her throat to continue. "Question four. Who is the best singer of Lazytown?"

"That's easy. Sportacus." Ziggy agrees with the pink child.

"Actually, I like your voice, Stephanie."

"Me too, Pinky." The trickster agrees with Pixel.

"Gee, Stephanie, it's great you picked me. And I like your voice too but"

"It's okay." She grins. "You can choose someone else. Who do YOU think is the best singer here?"

"Robbie."

"What?!" The villain in question shrieks.

"I've heard you sing before." He shrugs. "I like it."

"I like MY voice." Stingy breaks in."

"Shut up, Stinky. Sportadope, you like my singing? I mean, I KNOW I'm a better singer than these brats. And I am the best dancer, not that I'd show anyone. But do you really think so?"

The blue man chuckles. "I think you're the best singer in Lazytown, Robbie."

Robbie smirks but the twinkling smile is in his eyes. Sportacus and Stephanie notice this. So does Reporter. She clears her throat. Robbie glares at her but she ignores him.

"Question Five. Have you ever had a near-death experience?"

"No." Pixie shakes her head. "I'm always careful. Besides, Sportacus watches over us."

"Me too."

"I was mildly electrocuted once. But it was nothing. I was just so engrossed in my video game, I didn't realize it was storming outside."

"I've gotten scraped a bit at the tree house or riding my scooter, but it's nothing too serious."

"Well, I didn't always follow the rules at the academy, and a few times I was put in danger."

"Stupid careless elf." Robbie grumbles madly.

Sportacus looks to the floor, jumping subsided for the moment. Reporter's attention goes to Stingy.

"I almost fell into one of the traps Robbie made for Sportacus." He admits.

"Watch it, Kid." Robbie hisses then yells to the reporter. "Hell yeah, I've had near-death experiences."

Reporter bites her bottom lip and decides not to ask. "Question six. Do you believe in love?"

"Of course."

"Sure! I love candy and I love my friends!"

"Yeah." He takes a side glance to the pink girl. "I believe in love."

"Sure I believe it. It hasn't exactly happened.." She stops to look at an impatient Stingy. "To me, yet. But I believe in it."

"Of course! I love everyone here!"

"Except me." Robbie points out.

"No. You are my friend Robbie."

"Shove off, you stupid, clueless elf!" Robbie is getting enraged.

Stingy barely scrapes the floor, moving a tad closer to the hero. Sportacus is frowning, again staring at the floor. "I believe in it. Can I move?"

"No, Stingy. Robbie, you believe in love?"

"Hell no. Maybe I used to, at one point. To love you need trust. How the hell are you supposed to trust someone in this godforsaken world? How many more inane questions?"

"Three." Reporter sighs. "Then I will be leaving this town and heading somewhere else. Question seven. Have you ever been on a date?"

"No, but I'm only ten."

"Yeah, and I'm eight."

"I'm nine." Pixel and Trixie chorus.

"No, I have never been on a date. What do you do on a date?"

"Never been on one either."

"Yeah, I have." Robbie rolls his eyes.

"What was she like?" Stephanie gushes. "Where is she now?"

Sportacus asks a different question. "What was your date's name?"

"Tobias." He hisses the name as if it were poison.

Sportacus's face scrunches up. "I don't really like that name."

Robbie chuckles slightly but it is quickly replaced with a frown when Reporter asks question eight. "Have you ever lost a loved one?"

"Yes. I miss my Gramma."

"I lost my dog when we were real young. Err, when I was."

'I haven't really lost anyone close."

"I lost my cousin." Trixie frowns.

"I haven't really lost anyone, either."

"Me neither."

"I have." Robbie remarks coldly. "And no, I am not talking about it."

Reporter gulps. "Okay, last question. Do you currently have a crush on anyone?"

"I think so." Stephanie says with a blush.

Reporter signs that she can leave. Stephanie stands but waits.

"No." Ziggy shakes his head.

He joins Stephanie.

"Y-Yeah."

Pixel stands and joins the others. They walk out together.

"I'm not really sure.." Trixie admits, looking at her shoes.

She moves to the front.

"I think I might."

Sportacus starts jumping.

"I kinda sorta do." Stingy twiddles with his thumbs.

He grabs his piggy bank and follows Trixie out. Sportacus starts to leave.

"So what if I do? Is that it?"

"Yes, that is the end of the interview."

"Sportaquick! Wait up!"

Reporter collects her device and slyly follows the men. Robbie is tugging on Sportacus's sleeve, taking him to the shadows.

"You MIGHT have a crush?"

"Well, yeah."

"Is it Pixie?"

"What? No, I love her like a daughter."

"Do you like girls like that?"

"I don't know." He answers honestly.

"Do you like boys like that?"

"I don't know."

Robbie presses his fists against Sportacus's chest. "Have you ever been kissed? On the lips?"

"N-n-n-nm-mm-mm-mmm.."

The hero's negative response is silenced as Robbie's lips meet his. They are aggressive and hungry, causing Sportacus's logic to fly away. Once he finally realizes what is happening, he opens his mouth to question Robbie's motives. Instead, the cynical criminal seizes this opportunity to shove his tongue down the hero's throat. Sportacus's eyes widen in shock, but they quickly become half-lidded from pleasure. He uncertainly begins to kiss back, refueling Robbie to the highest extent.

The tape continues to record, though Reporter has vanished with her copy of the interview. The kids obliviously go about their sporty activities while, just within the shadows of the mayoral building, the town's proclaimed hero and villain engage in a much more physical and arousing activity.

Hope you enjoyed finding out more about these characters. There will be more, with in new chapters or, most-likely, other one-shots. Favorite and review. If you want me to interview another show, please write it in your review. Thank you!


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